Saturday, April 26, 2008



Marriage v. Singlehood


I always wonder ~ has God created human beings to live in pair? You will probably convince me with the story in Genesis about how Adam was created by God first, and Eve was subsequently made out of his rib cage to be his companion. That is fine. In that case, it may explain why we are all expected to be married when it comes to our full adulthood. And if you are believer of the Bible, Quran or Torah that endorse the above theory, your spouse has to be an opposite sex!

But then again, is it really doomed to be single? Let's see some of the main concerns, based on my reading and personal experience thus far, for being a single and not attached to a partner*:-

1. In the social aspect, we tend to lose friends as we grow older, especially if you are more of an introvert (like me). If you fail to make new friends, the resulting loneliness leads to, among others, heart disease and depression.

2. In the Oriental society, a single person is always perceived to be an "abnormal" or "unhealthy" outcast. He or she may even be labelled as a "kidult" who dreads full adulthood which also spells more commitments and responsibilities.

3. Women are generally prone to suffer from depression due to their monthly hormonal experience. Scientific research has proven that sexual contact and emotional intimacy with a man help to uplift a woman's mood hence the finding that a happily married woman is always caring, jovial and enthusiastic about life. BBC has reported a medical finding that a married person lives a healthier and happier life than a single. On the other hand, a single lady may not have such indulgence and therefore she is susceptible to mood swing and depression.

4. A single person may have less financial burden to live by but he or she also does not have the benefit of getting financial support from his or her spouse.

5. A married person may have a more fulfilling life if he is happily married. A man is healthier with his wife looking after his diet and physical needs. A woman has her husband to listen to her fret and whine that helps to her release her emotions.

And the list goes on.

(disclaimer: I have no intention to demean a person's choice to be a single. Rest assured that I empathise those struggle that one has to go through to make (or be forced to make) this decision...)

But then again how do you explain the heartache caused by the emotional distress from break-up or divorce? A disastrous marriage is proven to jeopardise a person's well-being 10 times more than the distress of being single. I shall talk about this issue in my other posting.

Having said that, I have some counter-arguments to defend the benefits of being a single as follows:-

1. A single person has full control over his life. He does not have to scratch his head worrying about sufficient income to support his spouse. She can always spend her money on fashion, accessories or SPA treatments that she fancies without any sense of guilt.

2. A single person can focus on his career without the distraction from a spouse. She can stay at back till late and thereafter proceed to the club for a girls' night-out.

3. A single person may still devote her love to care for the underprivileged in the orphanage or old folks' home.

4. A more sexually adventurous person has all the benefits to pursue his sexual freedom without the pain of being condemned for cheating and adultery. Certainly, no legal obligation to take care of his wife and kids too. Lots of "diamond bachelors" probably enjoy this sort of philandering lifestyle hence the fear of marriage.

5. A single person can spend most of her time pursuing her life passion or rather, a second nature that she hopes to explore. She would rather spend her youth on globe-trotting than caring for the family.

And this list is not exhaustive too.

I suppose the choice of your marital status is really something personal subject to your own set of circumstances. Not every married person is happy, neither is the single person unhappy about his life. Who are we to pass any judgement upon your choice?

1 comment:

Demonic Angel said...

hey teacher~
jus to drop some comments~
which would you choose for now?
marriage or singlehood?