10 Bizarre Ways of City Life in Shanghai

Shanghai is a happening and well-developed metropolitan, and it is no exaggeration to name it "Paris of the East". I was amazed by its broad avenues and magnificent skyscrapers when I first arrived here. After living here for some time, I gradually acquire a unique living experience of Shanghai (and I am still enjoying it). I have been to many major cities in the world. None offers such tremendous degree of "cultural shock" more than Shanghai, despite the fact that I belong to the Chinese descent. Let's see how "civilized" are the people here beyond the facade of a glittering skyline:-

1. THE SPIT

You will be amazed by the ubiquitous presence of phlegm ("fresh" or "dried-up" - OK, I know it is gross!) in Shanghai, on the ground, from the mouth. It is a "signature" habit of the nation that unfortunately seems to define the Chinese race. No wonder spit pot (痰罐) is always a top essential household item in China. If they are out of home, everywhere outdoor can be their "spitting ground". One of the “survival skills” I have acquired is to stay alert and listen up: when you hear a gargling sound of “arghhhhhhh”, just divert and hop off the street! It is disgusting enough if it stains your pants, but it becomes disastrous if you catch the virus and thereafter suffer from THE PUSH and rush in a local hospital!

2. THE PUSH (or THE RUSH!)

Shanghai is notably one of the most populous cities in the world. The crowd is particularly humongous during the rush hours in the subway (METRO) stations. You are literally and helplessly pushed to the corner. The trains are always full and you are cramped as one of the poor sardines traveling to work everyday. I was once so amused to see a young, pretty and well-dressed lady rushing and pushing herself (with incredibly high agility) into the train seconds before the door was shut; the train left the station with her face all squeezed and distorted on the glass window! It is also not uncommon to see some METRO station staffs help pushing more people into a packed train. That somehow reminds me of how live chickens are transported from the farm to the city in a truck! Hence the people do not seem to understand the concepts of privacy and space. Even if there is space, they simply push you around whenever they walk pass you. Now I wonder whether they recognize the criminal concept of assault and sexual harassment...

3. THE TRAFFIC

The local drivers do not buy the concept of “pedestrian first”. They don’t care whether there are pedestrians crossing the road. They will honk all the way to get you off their way. All vehicles honk all day long, starting from 7am till 8pm. As my apartment is located near Pudong Avenue （浦东大道） and the Huangpu River （黄浦江）, they wake me up on time to work without an alarm clock. They play their own traffic rules, by all means possible.

4. THE WAIT

If you wish to frequent a popular place, this is what I would advise you: (i) be patient, if you have plenty of time and choose to be a gentleman; or (ii) be aggressive, if you are in a rush and don't mind to be a barbarian! In a restaurant, either there is a long queue or the food is served late. As a gentleman, you can prompt the waiters many times to get what you want but you just have to wait. Otherwise, just do up a scene of barbarian acts and they will attend to you immediately. In a local hospital, you need to be alert in the queue or someone will jump the queue and take away your long- waiting position. Is the huge population of Shanghai attributable to its?

5. THE FIGHT

For first-timer in Shanghai, you may wonder why people seems to enjoy quarreling in the public. Well, that is not quite true. When the local people converse in Shanghai dialect (上海话）, somehow they phonically sounds like they are fighting! They are loud, quick and assertive, especially the senior ladies. My observations of their speech mannerism are: the young babes are sulky and imperious; the middle-aged women are proud and defensive; the senior "aunties" (a Malaysian reference of older ladies) are loud, pushy and domineering! This observation is affirmed by some of my local Chinese male friends here.

6. THE SERVICE

A lot of the employees you meet in the retail stores or restaurants are rude, defensive and opinionated. The rude - they ignore you when you ask for services; they treat you like a moron when you ask for direction in Mandarin (and look Chinese - they probably look down on country pumpkins who do not speak Shanghainese!) The defensive - when you complain about bad customer service, they will immediately cover their ass with every excuse under the sun. The opinionated - if they notice that you are holding on to a S-sized shirt, they may grab it away and tell you that you cannot fit (I know my body better)! This is, based on what I heard from the local, "by default" the way they behave unless the management has specifically trained them to please the customers.

7. THE CON MEN

Beware of the con men! They are just too many smart, cunning and unscrupulous people here who will strive to get every penny out of your pocket. The not-so-smart ones are the pickpockets, usually found in the crowded METRO stations. The professional con men come out with ingenious schemes to trap and entice you to part with your money voluntarily; or they will overwhelm you with all information that clouts your judgment. I was almost trapped here once. My strategy? Hear no evil see no evil. Just say no to everything, or pretend to speak no Mandarin.

8. THE SMELL

There is one common trait of all China Towns （唐人街）in the world - they all smell "Char Siew" (叉烧 - roast pork, a Cantonese delicacy) to me! Similar aroma (or stench, depending on whether you like it or not) permeates and pass through almost everywhere in Shanghai. My sensitive nose sometimes detects it from the people in the train or elevator too! If you do not fancy the smell, you may consider seeking your sanctuary in pubs or cafes where the fragrance of alcohol or coffee dominating. Shanghai does not offer only Char Siew but Chinese food of all streams. I wonder which Chinese favourite ingredient producing the aroma. Is that the pork?

9. THE FAKE

This is everywhere in China, not only in Shanghai. Even Celine Dion is a fan of fake luxury goods. Even if they don't make counterfeits, they use a logo or trademark which is substantially similar to any well-known international brand. In the hope of lucrative profits by confusing the public (but I thought Shanghai people are shrewd?!) and relating themselves to the big brands perhaps? Passing-off does not seem to be a legal concept that bothers the businessmen here. Even Li Ning （李宁）, a Olympian-gymnast-turn-businessman copies the "swoosh" of Nike to sell his sports garments!

10. THE PARADOX

It is interesting to read harsh, critical, and judgmental comments in the local media that demonize the West. For historical events, they typically blame the West for cheating the Chinese by taking possession of the Bund （外滩） in the late 19th century. In terms of current affairs, they always claim that the West has evil agenda to jeopardize the Chinese in many ways. Paradoxically, the people here revere the West a great deal! If it is bad enough in Kuala Lumpur, it is worse in Shanghai. My landlady brags about her kids working for American companies; some of my local colleagues show off their foreign branded goods (probably made in China); some local girls fight to date the white men. According to my Shanghainese friend, if you wish to get VIP customer services, you must speak to the sales person in English!

I will share each of the above items separately in the future. Having said all the above, I must also praise the Shanghai people for acknowledging their problems; and they are now working very hard to improve everything about the city in preparation for EXPO 2010. Certainly there are great things about Shanghai too. Just stay tune ya!

So Close ("Enchanted" Movie Soundtrack)

You're in my arms

And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We're so close
To reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close So close
And still so far

A Special Day in Memory

Act III of "The Two Gentlemen of Verona" by William Shakespeare has changed the course of my life...

"And why not death, rather than living torment?

To die is to be banish'd from myself;

And Silvia is myself: banish'd from her,

Is self from self: a deadly banishment!

What light is light, if Silvia be not seen?

What joy is joy, if Silvia be not by?

Unless it be to think that she is by,

And feed upon the shadow of perfection.

Except I be by Silvia in the night,

There is no music in the nightingale;

Unless I look on Silvia in the day,

There is no day for me to look upon;

She is my essence; and I leave to be,

If I be not by her fair influence

Foster'd, illumined, cherish'd, kept alive.

...

(the rest is omitted since it is irrelevant to the "course")

~ Valentine, scene i"

Is There A Formula For Good Marriage?

I have walked some men and women through their respective divorces. I suppose most of them came to me with an unrealistic expectation that I could advise them on family law and divorce proceedings, albeit my specialization in a different area of law. The irony is that, notwithstanding that family law is always an interesting subject, I had deliberately shunned it as I would never wish to assist any couple to go on separate ways. Perhaps it is the hopelessly romantic nature in me, longing to see blissful and long lasting marriage "till death that do us apart".

The bright side of it? For the sake of helping my dear friends, I have slowly acquired some basic knowledge on family law.

Would those experiences haunt me mentally and emotionally? Would that plant a seed of phobia in me?

That was one incident that affected me so intensely that I wept over it. To the extent that my Queen's Counsel was puzzled whether I was ever "married" (what?!!) to someone else before. Perhaps the mixed feelings of anger, sorrow and frustration (which shall not be too different from a breakup though to a lesser degree) were overwhelming, not to mention the fear of uncertainties that lie ahead for me. It is particularly heart-wrecking to hear from a party who has done his or her best to preserve the marriage, nurture good children and/or maintain the household to its best condition. One cannot help but to wonder, what is love all about? Is there a formula for a good, healthy and long lasting marriage? Why are love, hard work and sacrifice not well rewarded with happy ending?

As a woman, I am constantly struggling the tug-a-war of career and relationship. A woman who works hard in office is more likely to attain success in her career; unfortunately she who does the same at home may not end up in a blissful marriage! Why is that so? Which one is a better "investment" for a woman? Career or marriage?

My answer to it? Hmmm... perhaps the key is to strike a balance to well juggle all aspects of your life, which I believe that the liberalization conferred upon the ladies have also opened up loads of challenge ahead of us - rewarding career, blissful marriage (or relationship), nurturing good kids, financial independence, maintaining good friendships, cultivating personal interests, and never ever forget the importance of keeping fit, healthy, fashionable and HOT*!

In the event anyone of the above fails, especially marriage, we have other things to cling on to before it tears us apart. Gone are those unfair bondage that calls for 100% devotion to the family!

*You know what I mean if you Google search for "Helen Mirren in Bikini"!

I Become A Fan of Coldplay Overnight!

On 18 July 2008, without much anticipation but in the name of "love", QC and I went for Coldplay's concert at HP Pavilion, San Jose. I always love some of their songs such as "The Scientist" and "Yellow" but I was never crazy for them.

Watch this video and you will know why I became their fan overnight... they were absolutely brilliant! Look at how perfect the lighting was synchronized to the beats of "Viva la Vida". An audience of more than 5000 people just went head over heels for them singing along!

The next day, I listened to nobody but Coldplay!

P/s: Since I used a W580i Sony Ericsson to film it, the video quality may not be too great. I regret not recording the full song :(

Marriage v. Singlehood


I always wonder ~ has God created human beings to live in pair? You will probably convince me with the story in Genesis about how Adam was created by God first, and Eve was subsequently made out of his rib cage to be his companion. That is fine. In that case, it may explain why we are all expected to be married when it comes to our full adulthood. And if you are believer of the Bible, Quran or Torah that endorse the above theory, your spouse has to be an opposite sex!

But then again, is it really doomed to be single? Let's see some of the main concerns, based on my reading and personal experience thus far, for being a single and not attached to a partner*:-

1. In the social aspect, we tend to lose friends as we grow older, especially if you are more of an introvert (like me). If you fail to make new friends, the resulting loneliness leads to, among others, heart disease and depression.

2. In the Oriental society, a single person is always perceived to be an "abnormal" or "unhealthy" outcast. He or she may even be labelled as a "kidult" who dreads full adulthood which also spells more commitments and responsibilities.

3. Women are generally prone to suffer from depression due to their monthly hormonal experience. Scientific research has proven that sexual contact and emotional intimacy with a man help to uplift a woman's mood hence the finding that a happily married woman is always caring, jovial and enthusiastic about life. BBC has reported a medical finding that a married person lives a healthier and happier life than a single. On the other hand, a single lady may not have such indulgence and therefore she is susceptible to mood swing and depression.

4. A single person may have less financial burden to live by but he or she also does not have the benefit of getting financial support from his or her spouse.

5. A married person may have a more fulfilling life if he is happily married. A man is healthier with his wife looking after his diet and physical needs. A woman has her husband to listen to her fret and whine that helps to her release her emotions.

And the list goes on.

(disclaimer: I have no intention to demean a person's choice to be a single. Rest assured that I empathise those struggle that one has to go through to make (or be forced to make) this decision...)

But then again how do you explain the heartache caused by the emotional distress from break-up or divorce? A disastrous marriage is proven to jeopardise a person's well-being 10 times more than the distress of being single. I shall talk about this issue in my other posting.

Having said that, I have some counter-arguments to defend the benefits of being a single as follows:-

1. A single person has full control over his life. He does not have to scratch his head worrying about sufficient income to support his spouse. She can always spend her money on fashion, accessories or SPA treatments that she fancies without any sense of guilt.

2. A single person can focus on his career without the distraction from a spouse. She can stay at back till late and thereafter proceed to the club for a girls' night-out.

3. A single person may still devote her love to care for the underprivileged in the orphanage or old folks' home.

4. A more sexually adventurous person has all the benefits to pursue his sexual freedom without the pain of being condemned for cheating and adultery. Certainly, no legal obligation to take care of his wife and kids too. Lots of "diamond bachelors" probably enjoy this sort of philandering lifestyle hence the fear of marriage.

5. A single person can spend most of her time pursuing her life passion or rather, a second nature that she hopes to explore. She would rather spend her youth on globe-trotting than caring for the family.

And this list is not exhaustive too.

I suppose the choice of your marital status is really something personal subject to your own set of circumstances. Not every married person is happy, neither is the single person unhappy about his life. Who are we to pass any judgement upon your choice?

Addicted to Globetrotting...

1. Melbourne, Australia


2. London, England


3. Rome, Italy


4. Venice, Italy


5. Barcelona, Spain


6. Cardiff, Wales


7. San Jose, CA, USA


8. San Francisco, CA, USA


9. Ubud, Indonesia


10. Anaheim, CA, USA

• Create your own travel map or travel blog


• Visit TripAdvisor.com

I love travelling! By God's grace, I have been to many places, mainly the developed nations, since university days. Not that I was loaded but I had met many kind souls who allowed me to crash out in their apartments :p. I would like to thank all these people here ~ my parents (who sponsored my education in Cardiff), Nicholas and Joe (my cousins who used to live in Melbourne), my auntie and Steven Leung (in London), Luca (in Rome), JLPW (annual firm trip) and my Queen's Counsel :)

All the places listed above are unique to me:-

1. Melbourne is a preferred place to live with its vibrant city life, surrounded by its lush countryside.
2. London is one of the best cities for a pilgrim of international art and culture.
3. Rome is a classic beauty that you can never resist despite the crowd and the traffic congestion.
4. Venice is one of the most romantic cities in the world.
5. Barcelona presents very unique and fascinating contemporary art and architecture.
6. Cardiff used to be my second home - still miss her to bits after all these years!
7. San Jose is where my Queen's Counsel lives ~ always feel comfy there.
8. San Francisco is the forerunner for all sorts of cultural movements e.g. hippies.
9. Ubud is surprisingly beautiful with its Balinese art and culture.
10. Anaheim is where my birthday dream came true in 2007 ~ visiting Mickey Mouse and friends!

The above list is subject to changes as I get to see more of the world. I should probably explore more of Asia in the future with my Queen's Counsel. :)

A New Malaysia


I have never felt so excited before!

Right after casting my vote on 8 March 2008, I went into my chamber of hibernation, patiently waiting for the election results. As the Election Committee was gradually making its announcements, I experienced boosts of adrenalin that got me so excited that I could not sleep till 6am in the morning! All the ground-breaking defeats of Barisan Nasional's strongholds have made me believed that, "Don't play play! The ordinary MALAYSIANS (like you and me, minus off the bad guys) really BOLEH!!" Though we look tame and obedient (thanks to the controlled media) most of the times, we will stand by our rights when the time comes! That is the best illustration of "still water runs deep"!

I am especially glad to see more intellectually qualified individuals like Nurul Izza, Tony, Sivarasa, Lim lip Eng and Gorbind Singh moving into our Parliament House to speak for us. The solemnity of parliamentary debates on national policies shall be immediately restored. Let's hope no more obscene remarks on "leakage" and "tunnel"!

Thanks to all the voting Malaysians who has graciously performed their duties. For the apolitical or apathetic eligible but unregistered Malaysians, I hope that you will wake up one day and drag yourself out of your "comfort" zone to register and vote in the next election. Politics is not "dirty" or irrelevant. It is crucial to determine your well-being in this country, not only for yourself but your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. If you choose to be ignorant, you may lose your "comfort" sooner or later.

Thank God I am not dreaming ~ the opposition has successfully denied 2/3 majority of Barisan Nasional!

P/s: This is only the beginning. Let's seize this opportunity and make Malaysia a better place to live!

A Dialogue Between An MCA Member and I

As the battle between YB Chew Mei Fun ("Chew") and Tony Pua ("Tony") is heated up in PJ Utara ("PJU"), issue arises as to which is a better candidate to fights for our rights in the Parliament. Please see below a recent conversation I (as SV) had with an MCA member who suggested that credits should be given to some good MCA candidates, including Chew:-

SV says,

I have no doubt that there are good Barisan Nasional ("BN") candidates but if we want to see betterment of Malaysia, we need to make the right choice for a balance. Even if they have done something to develop their respective constituencies, it is their duty to make good use of our taxpayers’ money. Why do we have to live at their mercy? I especially abhor to the idea of “For development? Vote BN”. Is BN holding the"Rakyat" (means citizen in Malay language) at ransom? Every single cent is our hard-earned money!


On a separate note, if you have access to Tony’s blog, please go have a look on the separate interviews by Malaysiakini with Tony and Chew. I was surprised by the lack of competence on the part of Chew. I personally have high regards for Chew but I suspect that she still has a long way to go to better herself as an Member of Parliament ("MP") (if she still is after this election). Comparatively Tony is more eloquent with better ideas to improve PJU and this nation at large. I was especially disgusted by what Chew commented about Tony. Tony used to be my client and I can verify that he is definitely not a “bubble economist”. On a fair and professional battle ground, each candidate should come out with good and sound manifesto to improve our life but not personal attack. And a personal attack without proper research is 10 times worse than that. Hillary Clinton may be losing her support due to such hideous campaigning tactic.

By the way, I don’t side any party until I have made my own assessments.


MCA member says,

Thanks for your feedback.

Everyone has their viewpoint on national concerns. In reality, however, the people on the ground (think those people who have lesser than you or me in terms of access or resources) they have different needs and wants. That explains why our MPs have been saddled with ADUN (meaning local council) duties too. Don't believe? Go to any lesser places and check with the people there. Hear what they say of MPs who don't look into their "longkang" (means drain in Malay language) issues. They don't give a hoot to MPs to focus on talking only in Parliament as they want their daily grapples with life issues handled fast. These people makes up the majority of the have nots or have lesser who normally swing the votes for a constituency. That's why, it is important to look at the constituency, its condition, its people, level of engagement in local / national interest. Unfortunately, the intelligentsia tends to only talk about problems. A creative solution and carry through is needed from all parties. And so, we wait and wait and wait for someone to do it...

Yeah, I've read the Malaysiakini interview. Everyone knows Chew's weak point is economics. But to keep on at this weak point is a bit like hitting someone's tender loin to cripple the body. On the other side, Tony also has his weak points - lack of achievements for the work he has done so far in his 2 years in politics. Yes, he has raised issues, that's fine. Would love to see results. Politics is a sport. Let the best be voted/decided by the people=voters of the particular constituency. Non PJU voter like me have no part to play to impose our higher concerns on national issues on these people, but we can help educate them to by giving them 2 or 3 or 4 sides of the argument (one eg is: to let them see and hear direct from the horse's mouth). Let them form own opinion and let their collective wisdom decide on voting day.


SV Says,

Please read the article as appended below ("Thoughts From Government Talk" which is presented by a blogger named ZEWT - this article accurately points out that Malaysia is in the state of lawlessness whereby corrupted perpetrators in Malaysia could also turn around and prosecute you if you dare bring them to justice and anyone opposing to the government can be jailed without first going trial). I think it speaks for itself the reason why I should look into a bigger picture and not merely “longkang” and street lights. All I would say is that, every person plays a role to ensure that a country is well run i.e. the city council takes charge of local issues whilst the MP contributes his thoughts in the parliament. I am not saying that an MP should turn away when his people go to him for help. He can always delegate such duty to the right person to do the job.

Both our parliament and judiciary are in the state of great shame. If we continue to only care about nitty-gritty, the people will never understand the different roles of ADUN and MP, and continue to tolerate the inefficiency of local council, the uprising crime rate and inflation etc. If this persists, what is Vision 2020 for Malaysia?

Someone has suggested the following (definitely not me, I just copied it from somewhere):-

"Someone suggested a brilliant idea:
I grew up in PJU area and have been in the area for more than 30 years. In 2004 I believed Chew can do a good job (which I think she did if she was the local council and yes I agree she is hardworking) but today being a little smarter and not believing in everything the NST (New Straits Times), Star (almost puked everyday seeing the BN ads) etc says... I think Tony IS a better candidate for PJU. And we do need more capable people with intellect and not be "scared of UMNO (United Malays National Organisation, the leading party in BN) in case they chop me off their peer list" type of people to fight for the people. My suggestion is that to vote (ok, it's an appointment for now) Chew into local council and keep up the good work while we send Tony as the MP to do what a MP should be doing. Conclusion:-1) Tony for PJU MP2) Chew for PJU Local Council. Don't get me wrong Chew, you are still a nice and hard working person. But I would still use a qualified surgeon to operate me rather than a nice and hardworking person. Same principle goes to who we send to the parliament. I would rather send someone who knows the issues at large and fight for the rights of the people than sending a nice and hard working person to the parliament."

By the way, I don’t think you need to be an economist to understand that (i) Dr M, Pak La, Najib and Nazri had declared Malaysian an Islamic state; and (ii) NEP (National Economic Policy) is never abolished.

MCA member says,

Malaysia would be a world power we can have people on the ground all levels of exposure and education who can reason like you.

We've to work harder to connect all the dots.

Conclusion
I believe that some MCA members with good conscience are aware of all the current issues haunting the nation. I just hope that BN will stop speaking in denial (just note the campaigning slogans), wake up and stop the rot... oops is it ever going to happen? Am I dreaming ?

Today I Weep for Thee


In the midst of a joyful Christmas shopping spree, I was petrified to hear the arrest of my legal colleagues.

Today I see those familiar faces in horror.

Today I see the misuse of law as a weapon against the legal activists.

Today I see the fall of justice, civil liberty and the rule of law.

Today I see the terrifying prospect of a totalitarian state creeping onto this land.

Not for Monday blues, but today I weep for the dying democracy of this country, and I see her sky tearing for thee too...

P/s: Is this the land where we can still live a life to the fullest?

Quest for Liberty

"Every violation of truth is not only a sort of suicide in the liar, but is a stab at the health of human society." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

My passion for the subject of "Civil Liberties" has grown since my law school's days. It is just natural in me that those stories of sheer foolishness, corruptness, injustice, inequality and violation of truth get on my nerves, especially those taking place in bolehland. I am not perfect but I believe that a good leader on his conscience should care for the people above his own pecuniary interest. Sadly, this seems to be the opposite in bolehland ~ most MPs (Morons of the Parliament) are trying so hard to scrap every inch of our rich resources for their own palaces (some are distastefully decorated) and Mercedes Benz!

I have read too many well-written articles and blogs online that jitter me to express my own views. Nevertheless, though I may sound naive or idealistic, I have decided to give it a shot ~ to say something in the standpoint of a young professional lady. In reality, most Malaysian young ladies are apathetic of politics. All they care about are fashion, make-ups and relationship issues that are repetitively propagandized by the women magazines. A female friend of mine actually "advised" me to accept the political reality in bolehland. Some ladies shun me (though some men seem accepting) when I start sharing my political views. Well, I may tolerate all "evils" to stay and live in bolehland for the time being, but nothing would change my stance in pursuit of truth, justice, fairness, freedom and equality.

In the course of such pursuit, please forgive my blunt sarcasm, as well as my intellectual inadequacy.

p/s: I read that there will be an internet code of ethics prepared by the government of bolehland. Are we losing this platform for freedom of speech soon?

Please Leave Us Alone!

My eldest cousin, in his 30s, has just gotten married recently. It was a jovial occasion for the entire Lai's family ~ after all the last matrimonial celebration took place in the family 13 years ago when my aunt (dad's sister) got married.

Throughout the event, apart from performing the cousins' duties, we had to constantly, mechanically and robotically respond to the sixty-four thousand dollars' question raised by our concerned elderly relatives, "oh this is XXX, the groom's cousin! Wow... so handsome / beautiful! When is your turn to treat us?" Typically we would wish to shut their mouths by saying, "oh! auntie XYZ! The time will come... just be patient!" The more nosey aunts would probe further, "so , do you have any girlfriend / boyfriend?" If we said "yes", they would then advise us to promptly tie the knot before we became too old for "procreation". If we said "no", that was where the nightmare crept in... "aiya... why are you so choosy 'lah'? That's not good, you know... hey why not you join the groom and the gang to meet some girls at the bride's place..."

And the next "interrogation"? The next wedding of a buddy. The only difference is, you have your married friends, albeit their young age, probing into your marital status.

Is that such a big deal? Why do we have to conform to their standard? Is it wrong for certain people to make the choice to be single? Is there a hurry if one has yet to find the right partner?

Why can't we just let the nature takes it course? There are so many things to be seen and done in this world at this age, and we are all inquisitive to find out more. Instead of behaving like fools to rush into marriage, why can't we take our time to prepare ourselves emotionally and financially?

Dear aunties, uncles and friends, please don't worry too much about us (in other words, mind your own business!). When the time comes, you shall be notified and please get the big "ang pow" ready, OK? Thanks in advance! :p

Forever Friends?

The cuddly teddy of "Forever Friends" is one of my favourite characters. It was created by Hallmark, the card maker, to promulgate the idea of love, joy and friendship.

Deep my heart I can never stop wondering, does friendship really last for a life time? I used to take friendship seriously as part of my life. I felt that I was not popular in school or college but I cared for my friends on my VIP list. Dad used to tell me, "friends come and go", but I would never take heed to his words.

Time flies. I am now a grown-up who thrives everyday not only for bread winning, but also to handle so much of other stress and strains in life. It finally comes to my enlightenment, that friends, DO come and go ~ Ling was a buddy of more than 10 years but she feels that she is high up on the corporate ladder and I am not so "compatible" as her friend; I might be close to Sara 2 years ago but we no longer talk to each other ever since she has got married; Jenny and I used to meet twice a week for all sharing of secrets and now, Jenny shuns me for having cognisance of her past romances; and certainly, those events occur vice versa. You tell me, does friendship last?

Many years ago, being a younger lady full of angst and passion, I was always hurt for losing friends. It affected me so badly that I constantly doubted myself for not behaving well or being a good friend. And now, if you may ask, I am a skeptic of long lasting friendships. I don't read quotes about that any more. I understand that it is the reality of life in which close friendship stays momentarily at young age; when it comes the time of full adulthood, such bonding loosens up due to all sorts of commitments at hand. No one should be blamed for such departed friendship.

Certainly some are blessed enough to have close friends for life but it is rare. I have some close friends from days in the law school and it is still too early to judge how long such friendships will last. If they last, I thank God; otherwise, it is fine for me too.

The Chinese concept of "shui yuen" probably serves as the best resolution for such negativity in life ~ let's the destiny (of a romance or friendship) or nature takes its course. Seize the present moment of togetherness, albeit a short-lived one, and when the time is up, take it easy and give your blessings to him or her...

My Partner in Crime

Every year around the time in August and September, things seem to slow down at work. Guess what I have been doing for the past few weeks? I am completely drawn into the world of cyberspace! And the "accomplice" and "abettor"? My new and advanced PC well equipped with Microsoft Vista. But is it really a "crime" to go gallivanting in the cyber space?

To me, computer, together with the internet, is one of those greatest inventions in this modern civilisation. It came into my life when I was 18. Prior to that, it was something alien and "too high-tech" for me ~ what was that MS DOS with those green lettering on the black screen?! In fact, it never crossed my mind that this little machine, aided by the internet, would change the world, connect people everywhere and globalise all nations. When I was first introduced to the internet, I was completely mesmerised to its colourful interface, not to mention the ideas of chatting and researching online without the need of mobility. It was like love at first sight. I started lobbying for the first computer in my family. I sticked to it everyday, just to check emails with Eudora Light (still exist?) and make friends on MIRC and ICQ. In fact I met a Roman friend who made my trip in Rome absolutely unforgettable.

Unfortunately that computer was almost dead after I came back from the UK. For nearly 4 years I lived in dark ages with no convenient access to the internet neither at home nor my workstation. Yahoo actually froze my email account for my complete MIA (missing in action) for more than 1 year.

And now, I have my best buddy at work. I log on to the cyberspace first thing in the morning before I make my favourite cuppa of Nescafe Gold. With my iGoogle I indulge in surfing for international news. It is a blessing that I no longer have to tolerate the tampered information of bolehland. There is a better world with a better system out there... and I believe no lies and beautiful pictures fabricated by the "penghulu" (head of village) and his klans (including the MP, Morons of Parliament. My thoughts on bolehland will be posted in the "Quest For Liberty".

Apart from my thirst for knowledge and information, the thought of blogging had come to me 1 year ago. I would love to post my comments and opinions (can't help with this gene built in me biologically and professionally) upon so many issues in life, be it politics, socio-economics, corporate culture or personal affairs, but I never really walked the talk on blogging. I used to keep diaries as a kid but I eventually dropped the habit when I was trapped with the evil called love at the age of 18. Save for personal secrets (if any), the cyberspace has provided a fantastic platform for freedom of my expression without too much of constraint. The threat of bolehland to trackdown on bloggers? Well, I come with clean hands and clear conscience. What is there to fear for?

In summary to all the benefits I receive online, well, I find my favourite recipes, I read law and finance, I learn French and new vocabulary in English, I research with Wikipedia, I am inspired by beautiful quotes... and the list goes on.

Last but not least, the cyberspace has become a medium to connect my friends and I, irrespective of where they are and what they do, instead of losing friends after completing any phase of my life (e.g. leaving high school and college). Not to mention that I have retrieved friends that I lost contact completely for years. With Friendster, I realise that, despite my persistent whine about me lacking good social skill, I have many friends who are willing to keep me in their circles. With Facebook, I can interactively share all things that we never know about one another albeit a long term of acquaintance. My Queen's Counsel and I use it as a tool to exchange ideas, knowledge and passions :p

At hindsight, I suspect that I am endowed with some geeky gene though I was seen more like a bookish nerd during my adolescent years (those who have seen my old photos probably will concur) and not the robotic geek type (for a better picture, please see the photo of my Queen's Counsel). It is probably too late to switch to the IT field now. Nevertheless, I have got myself compensated with the aid of my Queen's Counsel. He is a real IT expert who provides professional services to ease my thirst to understand IT. My recent visit to the Geek Town for his consultation has proved to be a fruitful one ~ I enjoyed every moment in the Geek Town... :)

Is such gallivanting a crime? Well, no way according to my Queen's Counsel. A lot of IT companies in Geek Town allow such freedom at work to promote flexibility, creativity and innovation, so long the assigned task is accomplished in time. I concur, and I thank my boss for such liberty to this wild horse.